FASTLANE PREVIEW FELLAS AND GIRL FELLAS!

HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY SMARKS and Shooters alike! Working overtime on the posts, just before the Pre-Show on the WWE Network, here is YOUR Fastlane Preview!!!!!!!!

Hopefully I can condense this enough for you guys to read quickly!!!!!!! So without further or do, HEEEEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee  We Go!

Pre-Show match:Best Two out of Three falls for the United States Championship!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto (c)

The festivities are opening up with Del Rio/ Kalisto part 4, only this time a definitive winner SHOULD be decided. Normal matches are for….ONE fall. But this one’s like playing Rock Paper Scissors. No one does one and done, it’s always at least Two out of Three Falls. Just like the other matches, it’s the classic David versus Goliath matchup with the champion in the David spot. With the exception of a tag team championship match between the Usos and the Wyatts a couple of years ago, more likely than not there won’t be a sweep.  I’m going to take Kalisto, winning the 1^st fall by a rollup or quick pin, and the third fall with a Salida Del Sol preceded by something kooky. There’s no reason to continue the back and forth for the Championship since Del Rio’s runs have been lackluster.

Prediction: Kalisto over Del Rio, Two to One.

On the Main card we have the following matches (and UGH….segments)

Match :1 Ryberg (I mean Golback) I mean Goldberg, I mean Ryback , Big Show (Captain Insano) and Kane (the Titans?) vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper, Braun Strowman, and Erick Rowan) w/Bray Wyatt

This is a glorified squash match meant to boost the credibility of the Wyatt Family at the expense of two giants and a muscle head who is trying to be two former World Champions with flips. Rampant rumors all over the internet have Braun Strowman being the man who gets the glory amongst the winning team.

Prediction:Strowman will choke out Big Show after the remaining contenders are eliminated. Wyatt Family wins.

In the midst of the various matchups, we have two of the more popular past superstars combining their talk shows to create….The Cutting Edge Peep Show (For the benefit of those with Flash Photography, I hope for one five second pose). The WWE World Tag Team Champions, The New Day are the scheduled guests.

For the record, This isn’t Raw. WHY am I getting a talking segment in the middle of a PPV. That’s almost as bad as getting a commercial during a pre-show (wait a minute)…NO! it’s just as bad as Bo Dallas versus Flo Rida (wait….Bo won)….This is dumb.

Considering there aren’t any real credible threats that can be built quickly to oppose the New Day, something tells me that New Day and E&C will argue….which bring out the Dudleys, which bring out the Usos….and (HOPEFULLY) bring out an NxT Tag Team to make their debut on the show as a possible threat for the Tag Team Championships in some crazy scramble match at Wrestlemania that will (hopefully) make the main card.

Prediction: TABLES LADDERS CHAIRS FATAL FOUR WAY LADDER MATCH: Usos vs. New Day vs. Dudleys vs. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassaday  for the Titles at MANIA!

Match 2:Team Best At Everything (Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks) vs. Team Beautiful And Dangerous (Naomi and Tamina)

With Sasha back in the fold, she needed to break away from her Team B.A.D. stablemates, so what better way than to face them at a PPV. Who would her partner end up being? In this shooter’s opinion, the BEST current Babyface diva on the roster, Becky Lynch. Personally I think this is going to be a bad match, with a great ending. Plus, it (probably unintentionally) reunites one of the better alliances in NxT, Team B.A.E. (and this will be the only time I will cheer for the word, Bae. Well…besides when there’s a cool Korean with the name Bae.)

Prediction:Simultaneous Bank Statement and Dis-Arm-Her submissions on Naomi and Tamina, Team B.A.E. wins, then immediately attack each other setting up one of at least 3 or four possible scenarios for the Divas Championship.

Match 3:Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler Intercontinental Championship

So, originally there wasn’t much of a match for either one of these guys….until last Monday on Raw. There was a five way match for the IC title and Owens took it from Ambrose by pinning Tyler Breeze. Ziggler gets the title shot because over the last two to three weeks, he’s had Owens’s number, pinning him twice and costing him at least one or two after. Ziggler and Owens both hold the IC title in high reverence, in part thanks to both Owens and Dean Ambrose.

Prediction:Kevin Owens wins. Pop- Up Powerbomb, Bring ON AJ STYLES (or at least some sort of marquee match.)

Match 4:Charlotte vs. Brie Bella Divas Championship

Originally this match was simply a stepping stone situation for Charlotte. She needs a victory, and will still probably get a victory. Dominant champion faces WWE Total Divas representative, and squashes the living crap out of her on the way to Wrestlemania. And then….Daniel Bryan retired. All of a sudden, the match has more intrigure, and add that this could be Brie Bella’s final match and you have a much more unpredictable match.

Prediction:Charlotte retains because screw Ric Flair and some sort of antics that are going to happen.  

Match 5:AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho Grudge Match

Styles and Jericho have traded wins since AJ debuted at the Rumble. Two of the all time greats in Pro Wrestling going at it, and if the first two matches are going to be any hint of the quality of the rubber match, it should be nothing less than a classic.

AJ’s hitting the Styles Clash tonight to win it!

MAIN EVENT: Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar No. 1 Contendership match.

Main event of the night, winner goes against Triple H for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Honestly, you could watch and the commentators AND the video packages could tell the entire story. Ambrose loses the title and has a shot at the biggest prize in WWE, especially after the Royal Rumble. Lesnar was never pinned and probably needs to avenge his Wrestlemania loss to Triple HHH. Reigns has been trying to uphend the authority for the past year and is the person with the most direct crash course towards HHH and the authority. While Reigns is the main player, he will be the most resented (even though he’s supposed to be the most loved).

Prediction: Reigns and Ambrose pin each other, creating controversy, which as we all know creates cash. Lesnar gets mugged and taken out by Bray Wyatt.

So Triple H vs. Ambrose vs. Lesnar!

WHEN IN DOUBT>………watch wrestling.

ENJOY FASTLANE DUDES!!!!!!!!!